I meant to pop this post up earlier today but every time I read it I thought it was verging on one of those navel-gazing posts and that was not the tone that I was after at all. I do always get to the middle of the year though and have a small ponder, about this and that and everything really, and start to take stock. Does anyone else do this?
It’s been a weird year so far I have to say. First of all I am in a new city leaving behind over a decade of a place I called home and all my friends, book group, familiarity etc. Then I got poorly and that seemed to set me back a bit more. I thought I had felt secure and supported and yet things feel rocky again, the ground is shifting and I find myself getting frustrated I am not in the position that I had hoped I would be in by now when 2011 opened. Thats partly the health thing, partly sod’s law and partly because I think I put rather a lot of pressure on myself. That all sounds a little maudlin or miserable and ungrateful and its not meant to, honest – I think I have been bloody positive this year as much as I can, outwardly at least. I’m going off on a personal tangent so lets get back to my quibbles about Savidge Reads instead, much safer territory.
I fear I will never be 100% happy with Savidge Reads, I’m too close to it and can see all its faults niggling at me, but ever since I gave it a revamp and a nice new face (which I still really like and am very glad I did) I have felt like something else needs to change. I always say that I am planning on posting less… and then don’t. There is no use even saying that today as this is the second post today and you have two coming tomorrow. Its something I keep mulling over though, am I writing about too many books even though it’s the amount I am reading (in fact my blog is very behind the amount I have read this year with ‘less work and more being ill’) but it is also what I am reading and at the moment what I am reading feels wrong. It’s almost too mainstream, maybe even too modern. With a new literary salon on the horizon (venue now sorted and launch date) and The Green Carnation Prize submission reading in full swing its understandable in a way, but… but… but…
I need to redefine the direction I’m going in, I think. What happened to me reading older more forgotten classics? How can I find more of those current hidden away gems that miss the mainstream radar like ‘The Proof of Love’ which blew me away when I least expected it? In trying all this new stuff what has happened to my old favourite authors? These are the questions I need to be asking myself moving forward, none of you have the answers in the interim though do you?