I think I am going through a phase of rather large readers guilt. Yes, feeling guilty about my relationship with books as it seems to have changed in the last year or so.
I am sure I am not the only one though it is quite an isolating and frustrating place to be when you are going through it. Nice one Simon, start the post in a really miserable way and have everyone closing your post down as fast as you can! Ha! I am not miserable at the moment though I have to admit I am slightly cranky and this is partly because when I don’t get regular (and preferably prolonged) reading stints I turn into some sort of bookish banshee. At the moment I am in that phase. I am simply not finding the time to read and its making me resentful. This seems to be caused by three main things; my job – where I am possibly working too many hours; my house – because whenever I am in it I seem to be knackered (possibly from getting up and hour early every morning to try and create extra reading time but less sleeping time) or have chores to do, damn those chores and friends and family – who really selfishly want to spend time with me taking me away from books, ha! Then there is the Green Carnation Prize to sort for 2014 (very exciting news coming next week) and my bookish trip to America in August to finalise, and podcasts – which I have had to put on hold this week as just cannot keep up with myself. I am thinking the life of a hermit for a few years reading might be quite nice.
This lack of time (and I am normally good at being something of a magician and making time, pulling it out of hats and all sorts) of course leads to the age old issue of then being really behind with my reviews and feeling like the blog is a bit of a fraud. The other day I posted the below image on instagram (look up Savidge Reads) showing that my pile of books to review was as big as my cat! (Yes, that is Oscar, yes he has grown!) The thing is since then even more books have been read (yet I feel like I haven’t read anything, interesting) and now I feel really, really behind…
What makes me all the more cross is that some of the books (not all of them believe me) I have been reading have been utterly AMAZING, seriously BRILLIANT and so a) I want to tell you all about them all the more and b) I want to write reviews – and that do them justice – which of course takes more time. Damn that thing called time. You see I don’t really think a book blog can be called that if it isn’t really featuring book reviews, and I am in danger of falling into that category. Reading guilt and blogging guilt, oh crumbs. At least I have a three day weekend this weekend coming to sort myself out.
Please tell me I am not the only one who feels a bit behind with books and blogs (I haven’t read another blog in months, also guilt inducing) on occasion leading to minimal moments of despair, some of you must get it too surely? Also does anyone else turn into an epic grump (who their partner and friends don’t seem to understand) and gets really, really cranky when they don’t get enough reading time? Or is that just me, and should I be ashamed? Do let me know, you made me all feel so much better when I had my small ‘there are too many brilliant books in the world’ meltdown the other week, ha! Oh and any recommendations how to make more time or be more organised/systematic most welcomed too, you are all good to me.
Note: I wrote this after having a small book breakdown last night – it is now the Tuesday following said breakdown and a visit to the library and Waterstones has sorted me out 😉